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Ficlet: Pie or Death

Going to Comic-Con in a couple of days! Wish me luck! Tell me if you'll be there so we can hook up — in the "friends-only" kind of way.

In the meantime, I wrote a little fic for the Awesome Ladies Ficathon! Woo hoo! But, because I always want to edit things — which you can't do with a comment-fic — I'm putting it up here instead of there.

Title: Pie or Death
Fandoms: BtVS/Pushing Daisies
Characters: Drusilla and Ned
Rating: PG
Word Count: 460
Author’s Quickie Synopsis of Pushing Daisies: When Ned the Pie Maker touches dead things, they return to life — until he touches them again. Sad experience led him to discover that if the thing resurrected stayed alive for more than one minute, a living thing nearby would promptly drop dead, thereby retaining the balance of life and death.
Summary: Someone out there likes daisies. And pie.

Near closing one night, an odd woman came into The Pie Hole. That was not an unusual occurrence in and of itself. Ned the Pie Maker suspected that odd people were the only kind he came across. This particular woman was odder than most. She stood swaying next to the display counter, talking to the pies.

“You’re looking very well, dearie, considering,” she told the Apricot Ginger Marvel.

“Considering what?” asked Ned. “I mean -- may I help you?”

“Oh yes,” said the woman, who promptly reached across the counter and ran a sharp fingernail across his cheek. There was a tell-tale flash of light. Ned watched as vibrant, warm color ran up the woman’s (previously very pale) arm and blossomed across her face. The sparkle of her blue eyes, the warm glow of her cheeks, and the sheen of her dark hair were nearly as bright as the splash of Ned’s blood on her finger. Her eyes opened wider and she took a deep, gasping breath. She blinked and seemed to remember something.

“Just one bite,” she murmured to herself.

Her attention returned to the display case. “I’ll have some of that one please.” She pointed at the Lemon Cloud Nine. Ned took his hand away from his stinging cheek and hastened to serve up a slice. Somehow, time seemed very important just then.

The woman took a dainty bite and hummed with pleasure. Ned was charmed to see someone enjoying his handiwork.

He planned to ask something less rude than “what are you?” if he could just figure out how to phrase it. He opened his mouth a couple of times, but nothing came.

Just as he thought it was getting on a minute since the woman had sliced his cheek open, she patted his hand. There was another flash and all the color drained from her at once. Only the blood on her hand retained its vivid hue. She promptly popped the finger into her mouth and licked it thoroughly, making the same yummy-humming sound as when she’d sampled the pie. Ned decided it was not that charming, after all.

“My mother ate lemons,” she informed Ned. “Today was her birthday. I wanted to remember the tingle on my tongue.”

“Did you?” asked Ned.

“Oh, yes. But you are just as refreshing. Like honey and bubbles. And salamanders.”

Before he could decide what to ask her next — What did you think of the pie? Why me? Salamanders? — she had slipped out the front doors. The only trace that she had been there was the partially eaten slice of pie on the counter and the blood droplets sliding down his cheek.

Ned had the impression that it could have been much worse.


This entry was originally posted at http://rebcake.dreamwidth.org/25071.html. Please comment here or there using OpenID.



( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 10th, 2012 06:51 am (UTC)
Oh yes, Ned. Much worse! I miss Pushing Daisies - and Drusilla!
Jul. 10th, 2012 03:15 pm (UTC)
McDiva and her boyfriend (who she has since brutally dumped via text. Tsk.) were watching Pushing Daisies the other day and I just thought...Dru! Why not? If two shows ever needed to be smushed, it is these two beauties. *pines*

Thanks for commenting!
Jul. 10th, 2012 12:57 pm (UTC)
I've never seen Pushing Daisies, but that was awesome. I love your Dru.

ETA: Have fun at Comic Con.

Edited at 2012-07-10 12:58 pm (UTC)
Jul. 10th, 2012 03:23 pm (UTC)
Oh! Well, if you are looking for something new to watch, I highly recommend it. It's gorgeous and highly stylized, and loads of fun. Just two shortish seasons, I think, so manageable.

Thanks for the comment, sweetie! I'm sure I will have fun at the Con, though as I'll be chaperoning a half-dozen teen-aged girls, it's all speculation. However, in the immortal words of Jane Russell, nobody chaperones the chaperone. ;-) MiAmor is a Guest, so I expect there will be a few new thrills.
Jul. 11th, 2012 09:55 am (UTC)
MiAmor is a Guest, so I expect there will be a few new thrills.

Ooh, exciting! I hope you're going to write a report?
Jul. 10th, 2012 01:34 pm (UTC)
Ned is so right. *g*
Jul. 10th, 2012 03:25 pm (UTC)
Heh. He leads a charmed life, that Pie Maker. Thanks for commenting! (And, once again I miss the cutoff for your Herald post. Boo.)
Jul. 10th, 2012 01:42 pm (UTC)
What a cool scene and a really good idea! Thanks for posting!
Jul. 10th, 2012 03:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! I do love both of these shows, and pie, so it seemed like it needed to be written.
Jul. 10th, 2012 05:09 pm (UTC)
oooh - well done!!!!
Jul. 10th, 2012 06:49 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thanks! Welcome back to the interwebs!
Jul. 10th, 2012 07:16 pm (UTC)
*pets laptop* It was so haaaaarrrrdddd! :)
Jul. 10th, 2012 09:42 pm (UTC)

Oh how lovely!

I imagine some fairies whispered in her ear to get Dru to where she could enjoy a lemon on her mother's birthday.

So charming! Yeah, I miss Pushing Daisies like woah. Come to think of it, Dru blends in rather well there, doesn't she? I yearn for more... and lemon cream.
Jul. 11th, 2012 07:38 am (UTC)
Mmmmm, lemony deliciousness. Yes, Dru had her usual helpers leading her to something marvelous, whoever they may be. Sometimes she gets quite nostalgic, you know.

Heh, Pushing Daisies was oodles of fun, with everybody so eccentric and colorful. *sigh* Dru would have been an interesting villain there, but isn't she always?

Thanks for the lovely comments, darling!
Jul. 11th, 2012 06:30 pm (UTC)
This is brilliant, perfect Dru voice!
I'm not familiar with PD, but it sounds cool. :D
Have fun at the con!
Jul. 13th, 2012 11:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks so much, sweetie! I mos def recommend Pushing Daisies for anybody who is looking for something new to watch. It's sweet, absurd, gorgeous and just F.U.N.!
Jul. 12th, 2012 02:08 am (UTC)
Ooh! What a perfect combination!

I won't be at San Diego this year - for the first time in yonks - so have fun for me!
Jul. 13th, 2012 11:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks, darlin'!

The Con has been pretty good, although some things are just off the table due to massive crowds. No Firefly reunion for me, for example. But that meant I was able to attend the Dan Piraro, Lynn Johnston, and Kate Beaton panels without any trouble at all. Just focus on comics, and whatdyaknow? Oodles of room (though Kate was a near thing).
Jul. 15th, 2012 09:03 pm (UTC)
Eee! Kate Beaton panel! And Lynn Johnston and Dan Piraro? Okay, now I'm jealous. ; )
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )



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