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Ficlet: I Kissed a Goo Goo Muck

Title: I Kissed a Goo Goo Muck
Author: rebcake
Rating: PG
Word Count: 508
Characters: Spike, Dawn
Summary: Spike is stuck watching Dawn at the same time as the broadcast of a music awards show.
Warnings: Mentions of pop bands. Perversion of the space/time continuum. Contains photos.

Four nights earlier:

February 8

Dawn was alternating excited bouncing with teen-cool boredom. Spike was about to crawl out of his skin.

“C’mon, Spike! She’s supposed to perform, but I don’t know when! I’ve brushed my teeth, my backpack is ready for school tomorrow, and I’ll go right to sleep as soon as she’s done! I promise!”

“Oh, for … I can’t believe I let them rope me into this! I used to have a shred of dignity, you know. But now, it’s babysitting and pop princesses. Is that The Jonas Brothers with Stevie Wonder? Stake me now.”

“So, can I stay up?”

“Just until little Briancyé does her thing, I suppose. And, only if it’s before ten! I’m not gonna sit through this shite for another hour. And if Coldplay gets up there one more time, it’s off.”

“Thanks, Spike! You’re an ange…angry old codger of a vamp! Grrr! Rock on!”

Spike pretended not to notice the near slip of his grandsire’s name. There were too many other things to be upset about, and the idiotic Grammys were a huge irritation. None of the prancing about on the screen was likely to help him with his pain. Another of the greats: gone. Never to be acknowledged by the wankers holding this little pat-on-the-back-fest.

“Oh, there she is! Ohmigod! Finally!”

The well-scrubbed young chanteuse stepped out of her giant banana and started to shake her fruity hips at the Marlene Dietrich/Faye Dunaway styled dancing girls. She growled out the opening lyrics, and he was hit by a sense of déjà vu so powerful that he closed his eyes.

“Siouxsie…” he breathed.

Dawn avidly watched the screen, but she did have the decency to mumble, “Huh?”

“Siouxsie Sioux. She sounds just like Siouxsie Sioux.” He kept his eyes firmly shut.

“What are you talking about? You’ve heard this song a thousand times. It’s not Suzy anybody, it’s Katy Perry!” Dawn did not look away from the television.

“Yeah, well, she never sang it like this before.” He opened one eye. “Looks a little like Poly Styrene, if I squint,” he muttered. The singer did a little pogo and he opened his other eye. She twirled around in her lime green ballet flats and leaned into one of the white-suited dancers, and trilled naughtily about her “cherry chapstick”. He leaned forward.

“I like her dress,” he decided. “It’s almost as nice as that swan number Bjork wore.”

Dawn tsked. “You’re so weird.”

“Least I know my history. Looks like your bird might, too. A little.”

As the song ended, the camera panned to The Jonas Brothers, their jaws hanging open. Spike snorted loudly. “Those pillocks don’t know diddley,” he muttered, then stopped as he realized just how right he was. He snapped off the telly. “Won’t have you growing up ignorant of the finer things. You’re getting a little history lesson, missy. Starting with Bo Diddley and ending with Lux Interior, may they both torment whoever’s keeping ‘em in the afterlife.”

He rubbed his hands together. “So, how do you run this YouTube thingy, anyhow?”


A/N: Although this story probably takes place circa 2001-ish, the awards show and pop bands are from 2009. My excuse is that these things never change. You shouldn't have trouble spotting the Mary Sue, either! Photo credit for photo #2 WireImage.com, Getty Images. Artists mentioned:

Coldplay - British soft-rock combo
Bo Diddley - r&b guitar player, recently deceased
Lux Interior - lead singer of The Cramps, recently deceased (Goo Goo Muck is one of theirs)
The Jonas Brothers - pop brother act
Katy Perry - pop/rock singer (Hits include "I Kissed A Girl" and "Hot n Cold")
Siouxsie Sioux - lead singer of Siouxsie and the Banshees
Poly Styrene - lead singer of X-Ray Spex
Stevie Wonder - r&b/soul piano player/singer/songwriter


( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 16th, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
*holds lighter aloft*
She growled out the opening lyrics, and he was hit by a sense of déjà vu so strong that he closed his eyes.

“Siouxie…” he breathed.

Hahahahaa! Oh, fabulous. And curses! I'd escaped watching the Grammys this year, but clearly I'm going to have to go to YouTube and find Katy Perry's performance so I don't miss out!

None of the prancing about on the screen was likely to help him with his pain. Another of the greats: gone. Never to be acknowledged by the wankers holding this little pat-on-the-back-fest.

Aww, this is a lovely tip-of-the-hat to Lux. And good on cranky Spike--what better way to make sure the old punks aren't forgotten than to start educating some new ones?

Wonderful work again, and I'm giggling at Whiskey!Spike in his Cramp'd cell. An aside: I've had Songs The Lord Taught Us playing on a loop in the car for days now and have only just now replaced it with the Topsy Turvy soundtrack. ;)

Edited for excessive Monday.

Edited at 2009-02-16 10:51 pm (UTC)
Feb. 17th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
Re: *holds lighter aloft*
This story is an almost verbatim copy of my conversation with McDiva on Grammy night. I was so relieved to be able to switch to "Sense and Sensibility" on PBS after the kid went to bed. Whew! I've since read that Katy Perry's number was considered by reviewers to be "tuneless". Harrumph. I, however, have new respect for her. I like to see girls enjoying themselves, is that so wrong? Keep in mind, I really did like Bjork's swan dress, so my taste could be suspect.

Poor Spike, outliving all the best artists of, um, several generations. No wonder he drinks!
Feb. 16th, 2009 11:16 pm (UTC)
Oooh-- I think I love you for this one. Normally fic that transposes current music into the BtVS past bugs me, but you gave shout-outs to Lux & Siouxie. Gah!

I haven't watched the grammys in years-- might just have to fire up you tube too!
Feb. 17th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
ZMG-- just youtubed Katy Perry's Grammy performance. She so sounds like Siouxie! This oddly gives me hope for the world...
Feb. 17th, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
Absolutely! My kid really wanted to watch the damn Grammys (school night!), mostly so she could see Katy Perry. I've heard her ('cos of the kid), but I didn't really think she had much to offer me...until this! Woo hoo! Naturally, her performance was panned as "tuneless" but I'm on the bandwagon now!
Feb. 17th, 2009 12:20 am (UTC)
Thanks for pardoning my music flux. I figure the basic issue of blandness vs. art is the same in any year, so what the hell. The surprise this year of the pop princess pulling out the punk cred was noteworthy, I thought.
Feb. 16th, 2009 11:31 pm (UTC)
I was just thinking, the last time one of the Ramones died, that you could set this kind of fic in just about any year, and you can. :D
Feb. 17th, 2009 12:25 am (UTC)
Oh yeah. Same crap, different day. I was just so surprised when (what I had assumed was) a little pop star pulled off a subversive nod to punk, that I had to comment. There's hope yet!
Feb. 17th, 2009 10:36 am (UTC)
Heh! Spike would definitely hate Coldplay. In fact, I think everyone does.

And he'd be a Siouxsie fan for sure.
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
It is very easy for me to project my own musical tastes onto Spike. It probably is for many of us (of a certain age). A tangent: I remember seeing Ringo on some fluffy chat show, where the interviewer asked him if he liked Madonna. He grimaced a little and said, "I rather like The Cramps." Chat show host was completely mystified, having no clue who they might be. It was ever thus.

Thanks for commenting. I hope your hand is all up to snuff!
Feb. 18th, 2009 09:09 pm (UTC)
My hand's a lot better, thank you.
Feb. 17th, 2009 08:01 pm (UTC)
And if Coldplay gets up there one more time, it’s off.


This was hilarious, and a nice tribute to Bo and Lux too. *sniff*

I'm gonna go listen to "Surfin' Dead" now.
Feb. 18th, 2009 06:59 am (UTC)
Dawn might be a tad more receptive to "the finer things" than my own kid, alas. Oh well, someday she'll meet someone cool who'll be amazed at her parents vinyl collection, and she'll see the light. Maybe. Shades of Oz and Giles. At least she also thinks Coldplay is pathetic! At this point, what more can you ask for?

I'm glad you enjoyed my subtle tribute. I fear it is too subtle to mean much to those not already in the know...FTW!

BTW, it was you who broke the news to me. *choke* Not blaming. Just saying.
Apr. 29th, 2009 05:34 am (UTC)
“Thanks, Spike! You’re an ange…angry old codger of a vamp! Grrr! Rock on!”

Bwahahahaha! I can so clearly picture Dawn saying that, and it's just damn funny. Terrific fic! And congratulations on its well-deserved Still Grrr award!
Apr. 29th, 2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
Golly! Thanks! Sometimes I think Dawn is the cutest thing. Sometimes.
Jan. 15th, 2010 06:37 am (UTC)
you mentioned one of my all time fav singers!!! I L OVEEE SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES! in fact hong kong garden ins on right now...and kudos for mentioninv polu stryene. she does sort of look like her... huh. gah the jonas brothers *hiss!!!*
Jan. 15th, 2010 09:05 am (UTC)
Hee! One of the great things about Spike is that he remembers the good old days, just like the rest of us! Thanks for commenting. X-ray Spex 4-evah!
Oct. 17th, 2011 12:02 pm (UTC)
Maker's Mark! Good choice. :-)
Oct. 17th, 2011 06:06 pm (UTC)
Not that Spike's all that fussy when he's grieving...

Thanks for commenting!
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )



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